I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
