Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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