Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize