I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
