I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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