i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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