your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
