No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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