You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
