if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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