Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He felt like a one man threesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
