It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
