drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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