Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
