i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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