I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this boner is exhausting
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
