Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
PANTIES FOUND
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