i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
