K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
