You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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