does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
