I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
