Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
