The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
