Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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