i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
