ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
