Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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