There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize