I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
