I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize