but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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