Whod you bang
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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