I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
