im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
