The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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