She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
