i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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