She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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