HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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