so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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