Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
