I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
