I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
