Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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