I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.