I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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