Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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