Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
