Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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