Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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