One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize