I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize