Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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