you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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